Active Listening Guide
Mini video 'how to' guide on active listening
“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.”
— David Augsburger
I wanted to tell you a famous story about the power of listening. Then I paused, because listening isn’t normally a spectacle.
Do you ever see James Bond listening? Or Batman lending an ear? Can you imagine a Hollywood poster that says:
“The greatest listening sequence of the summer!” Unlikely.
The world we live in is a paradox; it values telling, informing, sharing and posting. We have been educated to believe that our value is based on how we reply.
This is why so many of us, although it looks very much like we are listening, are secretly just preparing our reply, waiting for our turn to speak. This is normal, it's how we have been conditioned by the world around us.
However, this comes at a great cost to our relationships at work and home. Without deep listening it's very hard for us to feel understood. And if we don't feel understood it's very hard to build trust. And in terms of relationships, trust is everything.
Video - Mini Guide To Active Listening
See our simple 5 minute guide to active listening here
This is our first go at doing a mini training video on this topic.
(Would you like more mini videos on mental wellbeing techniques? Let me know here and choose the topics most useful for you).
It's not meant to be perfect, just a simple example that might help you today.
Joy is a semi-retired senior mental health nurse and lecturer with over 40 years of experience. She is one of the wisest people I've had the pleasure of working with. Joy and I have delivered active listening training to hundreds of people. Doctors, nurses, administrators, leaders, managers, charity workers, scientists, engineers and more.
Active listening is the number one skill to strengthen, repair or manage any relationship at work and home. It builds the foundation for psychological safety which is the most influential factor for high performing teams and healthy families.
The most important thing we can do is to help someone feel understood. Because that’s what each of us craves: To feel understood. To know we are not alone.
You are a good person doing your best. That’s enough.
“Engage your curiosity to learn your friend’s perspective. Being curious about your friend’s experience is more important than being right.”
- Lisa Feldman Barrett
This week I enjoyed:
Little Simz and Cillian Murphy's 'love letter to teachers' - here
Brain fog and four easy ways to help fix it - here
Need a hand? Feel alone? Don’t wait, contact someone today. You deserve support as much as anyone else. You are not alone. Reply to this message if that’s easiest.
Text Shout - 85258 - simple support via text, I used when I wasn't sure who to turn to
Call Samaritans 116 123 - no problem too small, I've used a couple of times, once during a relationship break up, once when one of my family said they were suicidal and I wasn't sure who to ask for help
NHS Every Mind Matters - simple and effective resources you can access immediately here