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When I experience difficult thoughts I sometimes find it hard to sit down and be still.
I'm not quite sure why but if I had to guess I'd say that on some level I worry that sitting down will make the painful internal noise louder.
I'm sure this is why, when I was growing up, my mum always had to find ‘jobs’ to do. Doing the jobs seemed easier for her than facing the difficult thoughts and feelings.
I started thinking about the above when a friend asked me ‘if you had to give up meditation or exercise which would you give up?’
Such a tough question! I had to go with meditation because exercise offers more overall benefits for body and mind.
I do both everyday. They are two of the most powerful and restorative habits I've created. I’ve been meditating for over 20 years. I’ve used my physical fitness to help me with triathlons, ultramarathons, mountain climbs, 5km swims (see my favourite swim from Christmas at the foot of this page). Currently I enjoy the gym, yoga, swimming and slow runs.
I'm conscious that January is a time when many people renew a commitment to look after their body. Here are my top tips to help you find the time to exercise and optimise the mental wellbeing benefits;
Tip 1 - Keep your exercise habits super convenient
Think low effort and easy to complete. No benefits occur unless we do the exercise.
Don't join the best gym, join the closest gym to your house.
Don't go on the best walk/ run, find a 10 minute loop from your front door.
Not sure how to start exercising? Ask your friends and family what they do and join their class, gym, pool. This avoids researching, planning, organising. It also helps to remove choice and choice is stressful and mentally draining.
Tip 2 - Plan to do 12 minutes minimum - any more is a massive bonus!
We feel much better when we COMPLETE things!
Set low exercise goals, regularly achieve them, feel great, increase self confidence.
Not; set high exercise goals, rarely achieve them, feel worse, lower self confidence and increase self critical thoughts.
Done your 12 mins and want to continue? Go for it. Providing it doesn't go over 50 mins it will be all benefit. Cortisol significantly increases after intensely exercising for 50 mins which can be detrimental to our immune system. If you want to exercise for over 1 hour I’d encourage you to keep the exercise at low intensity; slow jog, walk etc.
Tip 3 - Use your exercise time to find solutions to problems
When we are struggling with something we have a tendency to overthink it, feel overwhelmed and lose perspective. Exercise frees up different parts of our brain and helps us intuitively reframe. The brain wants to help us find a solution we just need to give it some space to do a bit of internal tidying.
For example; before you exercise say to yourself ‘something will come to me after my run/ workout/ walk/ swim/ dance class etc.’
Then give yourself permission to let go of thinking about the situation for an hour and see what happens! I use this technique every week and find it consistently effective.
Hold in mind when our brain gives us negative thoughts its trying to help us! Its saying something needs attention. The mental pain often comes from how we respond to the negative thoughts (this is a massive topic). This week simply test out the above 3 times and see how it works for you.
And remember, one of the most published psychologists in the world, Nobel Prize winning Daniel Kahneman gave us this quote;
“Behind every negative thought is a positive intention”.
Tip 4 - Highlight a VERY CLEAR AIM to define ‘why’ you exercise
Exercise to lift your mood?
Exercise to recharge your brain?
Exercise to help you sleep?
Exercise to help you solve a problem?
I’d avoid having ‘lose weight’ as a main goal as it encourages self judgement. Better to have it has a nice side effect of exercising.
My main reason for exercising is having one thing I can control and complete in my day. Completing my daily exercise goal goes a long way towards helping me feel that I am enough. It also definitely improves my mood and helps me sleep better.
Write this sentence down and put it somewhere you can see for the next few days.
One thing I notice exercising really helps me with is…………………..enter your benefit
Bonus points if you can text this sentence to one person today. See how it feels when you send it!
Tip 5 - Each time you exercise you are cultivating the vital internal skill of interoception
Interoception is how we interpret our internal feelings and senses. When we exercise we teach ourselves that pain passes. We learn that painful situations don't have to be catastrophised into us thinking everything in our life is a mess and that we are a bad person. We educate our emotional intelligence. We learn that difficult feelings pass.
One day last week, the day after a tough weights session in the gym, I noticed my muscles were really sore. This is often a sign that they are beginning to repair and get stronger. It made me think that both physical and mental growth is painful in some way. Although temporarily uncomfortable, both help us becomes physically and psychologically stronger. Therefore, when we face something ‘heavy’ in the future we are better able to cope and persevere.
I will be delivering some new sessions on interoception this year, techniques that involve both sitting down and moving - the recent published data is compelling. I think it could be a very effective tool to empower us all to manage difficult thoughts and improve focus.
Final Thoughts
Did you know that doctors around the world prescribe exercise for sleep, depression, stress, heart conditions, cancer recovery, constipation, chronic fatigue, slowing dementia? - the list goes on! Keep experimenting and try different things. Find what works for you. It’s ok if you start one form of exercise and give up another. It’s ok if you exercise loads one week and hardly anything the next week. The most important time to exercise is always today. There is always value in every form of movement no matter how small.
You are a good person, doing your best. That’s the most each of us can do.
“If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.”
Virginia Wolf
This week I enjoyed:
Interoception: the hidden sense that shapes wellbeing - here
Dry January: I spent a year without alcohol - here
The new museum trend helping us regain our lost attention - here
Need a hand? Feel alone? Don’t wait, contact someone today. You deserve support as much as anyone else. You are not alone. Reply to this message if that’s easiest.
Text Shout - 85258 - simple support via text, I used when I wasn't sure who to turn to
Call Samaritans 116 123 - no problem too small, I've used a couple of times, once during a relationship break up, once when one of my family said they were suicidal and I wasn't sure who to ask for help
NHS Every Mind Matters - simple and effective resources you can access immediately here
One of my favourite moments over Christmas - swimming across this bay!