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Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl survived the Nazi concentration camps. Almost every part of his life was controlled by others. Yet he recognised that one freedom remained: the freedom to choose how he responded.
Resilience does not mean feeling in control of everything.
Most of the time, that is impossible.
It means noticing the small part that is still yours.
When life feels uncertain, the brain searches for control. We may not be able to change the whole situation, but we can choose one small, deliberate action.
Get out of bed.
Go for a walk.
Reply to the email.
Put the phone down.
Making your bed is sometimes suggested to people experiencing depression for this reason. It is not a cure, but it creates one small moment of action and completion.
This reflects an evidence based approach called behavioural activation. Rather than waiting to feel motivated, we take a small, manageable action that can begin to rebuild momentum.
These tiny actions can look insignificant.
But they remind the brain of something important:
I am not completely powerless.
This is the value of micro disciplines.
[Thank you to Andrew Huberman and Andy Stumpf for introducing me to the phrase micro disciplines - watch here]
Five Micro Disciplines to Test
Which of these can you test over the next two mornings?
The rules are it must be done as soon as you wake up and before you check your phone.
Make your bed when you get up
Get up and immediately go outside, stand or walk for 5 minutes
Drink a big glass of water
Write down three things you need to get done today
Take a 4 Breath Pause while looking out the window
Choose just one.
Aim to complete it on each of the next two days.
Do not worry about doing it forever.
For now, you are simply gathering evidence that you can make a decision and follow through.
One small action.
One small completion.
Each small action strengthens your sense of control, and that sense of control helps build resilience.
My Micro Disciplines
When I get out of bed, I say:
“Today is going to be a great day.”
I learned this through Linda Fogg. It is known as the Maui Habit, created by her brother, behavioural scientist BJ Fogg.
Then I make my bed.
Then I drink a large glass of water.
In less than five minutes, I have done three useful things.
First, I have deliberately directed my attention towards the possibility of a good day.
Our brains naturally pay more attention to potential threats and problems. This negativity bias helped our ancestors survive, but it can also mean that our minds begin searching for what might go wrong before the day has even started.
Saying that today is going to be a great day does not guarantee that it will be.
It simply encourages my brain to notice that a positive day is possible.
Second, I have completed one small task.
Making the bed gives me an immediate sense of order, progress and control. Even when the rest of the day feels uncertain, I have already followed through on one decision.
Finally, I have started replacing some of the fluid lost overnight.
We naturally lose water while we sleep through breathing and sweating. Starting the day with a glass of water can help support hydration, which is important for mood, memory, attention and energy.
None of these actions is revolutionary. That is precisely the point.
Three micro disciplines. Less than five minutes. A small but deliberate start to the day.
Even when I feel low, frustrated or tired, completing these three tiny actions gives me a sense of confidence and control.
And sometimes confidence is the most important step between reacting on autopilot and responding in a way that reflects the person I want to be.
You are a good person, doing your best. That is enough.
“Everything can be taken from a person but one thing: the freedom to choose one’s attitude.”
-Viktor Frankl
Tired of trying really hard but still not making the progress you want?
Need a hand? Feel alone?
Don’t wait, contact someone today. You deserve support as much as anyone else. You are not alone. Reply to this message if that’s easiest.
Text Shout - 85258 - simple support via text, I used when I wasn’t sure who to turn to
Call Samaritans 116 123 - no problem too small, I’ve used a couple of times, once during a relationship break up, once when one of my family said they were suicidal and I wasn’t sure who to ask for help
NHS Every Mind Matters - simple and effective resources you can access immediately here