Simple Way To Improve Self Discipline

One way to improve self discipline

Rules are an effective way to help us achieve goals. A simple way to improve our self discipline.

I’m reading a great book called Clear Thinking by Shane Parrish. He shares a simple idea I think many of us could benefit from.

When we try to make a change in our life we often rely on willpower to make better choices. This can make change harder to sustain because new choices are challenging when willpower is low.

If my goal was to ‘get more sleep’ I might decide that one way to achieve this is to go to bed earlier. However, each night I have to choose to go to bed earlier. My willpower battery is lower at the end of the day and therefore it can feel harder to stick to my goal.

A rule I could implement to replace the ‘having to think and decide’ could be that my bedtime is 10pm. My rule = bedtime at 10pm. This will be easier for me to stick to because the rule is very clear. No thinking required; just action that supports my goal.

Another example could be that I try to drink less sugary drinks or alcohol. This could be hard to stick to because whenever I go to someone's house they will invariably offer me a sugary drink or alcohol. The effort to choose not to have a surgery or alcoholic drink is even harder because of the social pressure, everyone else says yes and I just end up going along with it.

However, if my rule was I only drink sugary drinks or alcohol on a Friday this would be easier to stick to. When I’m offered either drink on a non Friday I would simply reply ‘my rule is I only drink sugar or alcohol on a Friday.’

Daniel Kahneman has a rule about not making decisions on the phone. He knows he wants people to like him and feels more inclined to say yes to something on the phone then regret it a few days later. This simple rule helps him make sure his calendar contains the things that matter most to him.

Create a simple rule today to help you with a goal important to you

What's one goal that's important to you at the moment?

What's one rule you could create to help you?

Examples:

Goal: Protect more time for focus

Possible Rules: Only check email after 12pm, protect first hour of the day for Deep Work.

Goal: Stronger relationship with someone at home

Possible Rules: Ask them an easy to answer question as soon as you get home. How was your day is NOT an easy question to answer. Instead something like: what's one thing that went well today?, or simply give them a warm hug as soon as you get in.

Goal: Get more sleep

Possible Rules: Turn all screens off at 9pm. Once screens are off it's easier for us to tune into our circadian rhythm and that sleepy feeling that says it's time to go to bed now. Or get changed into you bedtime clothes after your evening meal, get signals to the body and brain that bedtime is immanent.

Goal: Take a ‘proper’ restorative break each day

Possible Rules: : Walk the same 15 minute loop everyday at 12pm. Block book this into your calendar so people can’t book meetings over it. Protect the valuable recovery time you need to put yourself in the best possible position to support others.

Plan a rule today and test it out. One of my new rules is going to the gym (on my designated gym days Mon, Wed, Sat) as soon as I wake up (I used to have this routine but it slipped away as sometimes these things do).

So far so good. I don’t have to think. I just do. Having to think takes a lot more mental energy then we realise (or at least it does for me).

Another rule I’ve implemented is I have to say hello to one person in the gym. A simple way to help me feel closer to others. Sometimes the reply is a curt ‘morning’ sometimes it’s a nice chat. Either way it helps lift my mood and only takes a second.

Take 4 breaths now. Inhale. Hold for a few seconds, long slow exhale. Every conscious breath makes a difference. Then plan your rule.

Thank you for completing the mindfulness survey last week, I really appreciate it. This quote succinctly sums up how mindfulness and restorative breaks often help me. You don’t need to do mindfulness to reach this place. However, if you don’t have anything in your life that helps you feel this way, keep experimenting, it’s an invaluable sense of reassurance during the tough moments. When we realise that peace is something we can find internally and not dependant on external things being the way we want them to be.

“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. “- Albert Camus

You are a good person, doing your best. That’s enough.

Get ready for some wonderful sunsets. Autumn is a special time of year.